Things have been a bit quiet on here lately. Well, I’ve had a few distractions and it has taken me a while to figure out that I do want to write about it.
Before I start, I want you to read this in a positive way. That is what I will focus on. You know me, always finding a silver lining, but slightly pooing my pants on the way 🙂
As you know if you read my previous post, I am having a relapse. Well, I swiftly received another MRI the other day (thank you work for my private healthcare!!). The week wait between scan and follow-up appointment was like a dark tunnel with no seeming end. I got myself into a right state worrying over it all.
The diagnosis is RRMS, Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. It was not a surprise as I had done my research but still a shock to hear. This stuff doesn’t happen to me. I don’t know a single person who has it. It’s something that affects “other people”. I won’t lie, I have had a lot of misconceptions about people with this type of disease. Coming to terms with the fact that this is now me, was, still is, one hell of a pill to swallow.
I spent the morning with my sis in law as hubby had to get back to work. It helped me hugely, not to go home and wallow but to discuss it with someone who themselves had overcome much bigger obstacles, and in quite an impressive fashion; might write about that some other time. It also prepared me for my call with mum. She is 800 miles away in Germany and obviously terribly worried and unable to help like any mum wants to.
But since then, I have surprised myself. I am no longer in this dark place that I was in the days leading up to finding out. I know what I’m dealing with now. I can’t change it. I will focus on being positive. I am very aware that this may not always be easy. I’m under no illusion that I have probably had the fastest diagnosis (it often takes years!) and so I’m very much at the start of this journey with comparably mild symptoms. But I have decided not to worry about what might come. Instead I am going to focus on today, I will enjoy what I can whilst I can and I will be as healthy as possible to hopefully kick this thing in the butt!!
If you want to read more about MS there is a great website where you can find out loads. I was literally clueless so it helps me a lot. It’s this one https://www.mssociety.org.uk/.
Thanks for reading, leave me a comment if you feel like it or you want to ask me anything xoxo